“We had a nice dinner and then we broke up…”

Which is essentially what happened.

Boyfriend turned 35 and I took him to dinner. Nevermind that when my birthday rolled around, nothing was done for me. I was sick that weekend and he brought me some chicken strips and hung out with me. I suppose the gift of his time was my present, considering that was one of the last times we truly hung out.

Anyhoo, we went to dinner, back to my house and had a nice time. And then as per usual, the weekend was creeping up and my time wasn’t being requested. He wasn’t being busy but making sure we could see each other at least once. He seemed perfectly cool with going the entire weekend not seeing each other. Mind you, we don’t see each other M-Thurs because of his classes and labs. By the time the weekend hits, why are you not pacing my front porch on Friday night waiting to see me?

I dunno. But I keep meeting this guy. And I don’t know if it’s them or me. But since it keeps happening the same way, I’m inclined to think it is me.

Maybe my standards are too high.

Maybe I require more time than a woman in her late 30’s looking for more than a roll in the hay and a ‘hey thanks girl’ should require.

Maybe I’m nuts and I drive them away.

I have no clue because I don’t get  debrief. ‘Here’s what you did that made me not want to hang out with you: A,B C; X,Y,Z.”  They just disappear. Fade away.

So the title is what I told my work friend. We went out to dinner. And then we broke up. There was, of course, more involved… a few long text convos. A request to call me so we could talk it out. A refusal to call.

And no call since.

So I am done. I’m happy I never slept with him. I don’t really miss him. How could I? We were hardly ever together.

I’ve gathered all my wit and charm and put an ad up at POF. Ya’ll know the place. I really hate EHarmony (I think it’s a scam and not any better at matching. Some of the men there don’t need to pay $60 a month to be matched by a 200 point questionnaire. They need THERAPY. GAH.) I am not a big fan of match and as Sarah recently found out, you can never ever delete your profile from match. Really? Wow that’s just fantastic. That’s how they can brag that they have 60million people on their site.

Match.com- you can check out but you can never leave.

So yeah, POF. I was immediately emailed by a guy I went out with once. He was unkempt, his breath reeked, and he spent all of dinner complaining about one thing or another. I refused to go out with him again and he’s been trying to get me to go out again ever since. Sir? Sir. No. Give it up.

Let us see what this round of Adventures in Online Dating brings. I’ve already sunk to the depths of shallow– I got a message, looked at the photo, read the profile, didn’t even read the message. No interest in what he had to say, I knew I would never meet him.

I’m totally being picky this time, I told my bestie. Don’t live anywhere near me? NOPE. Kids? NOPE. NegativeNed profile? NO! I’m looking for chemistry and a connection and I am tired of being understanding and gracious. I want what I want when I want it……..or I don’t want it at all.

Me and Bestie have already named our Old Lady Cats. We ain’t scared o’ nothin’.

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Back on the market…

It’s like men don’t hear me when I tell them who I am what I want. Or maybe they hear me and try to be what they can’t be. I’m so tired of meeting this particular kind of man. The one that wants what he wants without having to do any work… the one that doesn’t know what he wants but pretends to want the same thing I want until he figures out that either he doesn’t want ‘that’ at all or he does want ‘that’ with me.

Either is cool…….just thanks for dragging me along for the ride, dude. Meanwhile I was trying to be open minded to something new with someone new and he turned out to be exactly the same as all the rest.

 So much BOOOO. 

I do not regret giving him a second chance. At least I know I gave it every effort. I never ask for more than I bring to the table. In the end, I expected more than he could give, which we both agreed was a reasonable amount of expectation. Unfortunately, even that reasonable amount is more than he can, or is willing, to bring to the table.